Fair Fighting

“Since wars begin in the minds of men, it is in the minds of men that the defenses of peace must be constructed.”
-- from the UNESCO Charter.

How to disagree and remain friends
Fair Behavior Unfair Behavior
Speak one at a time Name calling
Allow equal time Opening old wounds
Look for a compromise Getting off on tangents
Be specific Avoiding the topic
Allow for TIME OUTS Intimidation and threats
Observe the rules you set Changing the rules
No force, no hitting Refusing to compromise
Show respect Mind reading
Give reasons for your reactions Using sex or money for leverage
Admit when you are wrong Gloating
Make agreements clear Pretending to ignore the other
Repeat them. Saving up gripes to dump
When You are Angry at Someone When Someone is Angry at You
Ask to talk with them Listen and stay calm
Say something positive if you honestly can Avoid talking back
Tell what you feel and why Avoid trying to argue
Ask if they understand Ask them to explain anything you don�t understand
Ask for a change in behavior Ask what you can do to improve things
Ask if they will agree to change Agree and apologize or
Thank them for listening Tell your side of the story
When you disagree and you want to work it out
Say how you feel
Show that you understand their situation or feelings
Ask for what you want
Offer a compromise
Brainstorm with a third party if you need help with ideas for an agreement.




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If you have any questions about Jujitsu, please contact,
Burkhard Bohm, Sensei (530) 836-2208
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