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“Since
wars begin in the minds of men, it is in the minds of men that the defenses
of peace must be constructed.”
-- from the UNESCO Charter.
Courtesy of PLUMAS RURAL SERVICES, FAMILY SERVICES, 530-283-5675
http://www.plumasruralservices.org/
FAIR FIGHTING |
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| How to disagree and remain friends | |
| Fair Behavior | Unfair Behavior |
| Speak one at a time | Name calling |
| Allow equal time | Opening old wounds |
| Look for a compromise | Getting off on tangents |
| Be specific | Avoiding the topic |
| Allow for TIME OUTS | Intimidation and threats |
| Observe the rules you set | Changing the rules |
| No force, no hitting | Refusing to compromise |
| Show respect | Mind reading |
| Give reasons for your reactions | Using sex or money for leverage |
| Admit when you are wrong | Gloating |
| Make agreements clear | Pretending to ignore the other |
| Repeat them. | Saving up gripes to dump |
| When You are Angry at Someone | When Someone is Angry at You |
| Ask to talk with them | Listen and stay calm |
| Say something positive if you honestly can | Avoid talking back |
| Tell what you feel and why | Avoid trying to argue |
| Ask if they understand | Ask them to explain anything you don’t understand |
| Ask for a change in behavior | Ask what you can do to improve things |
| Ask if they will agree to change | Agree and apologize or |
| Thank them for listening | Tell your side of the story |
| When you disagree and you want to work it out | |
| Say how you feel | |
| Show that you understand their situation or feelings | |
| Ask for what you want | |
| Offer a compromise | |
| Brainstorm with a third party if you need help with ideas for an agreement. | |
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| If you have any questions
about Jujitsu, please contact, Burkhard Bohm, Sensei (530) 836-1148 Or leave a message at (530) 836-2208 (answering machine) |
E-mail
Address: Burkhard |